Poor Pudding
by Caramel
Summary: My first METMA fic. It's got romance, intrigue, nightmares, and a quart of motor oil.


(A/N: Here we are, my first METMA fic! These were the requirements:  
  
- Must be funny (hey, I tried)  
- Katie Bell must be mentioned  
- Someone must say "Bugger off, can't you see we're busy?"  
- Some one must have big hair. Very big.  
- Must include a quart of motor oil  
- The pudding Dobby knocked over in COS must be mentioned  
- Ron must be fascinated by an elevator  
- Someone must say, "Um, do you want a tissue?"  
  
So here we go!:  
  
* * *  
  
He was having that dream again. He mumbled in his sleep as his fists clenched and unclenched anxiously.  
  
"No…please…please don't... Wait! No! NOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
Ron woke up with a start, his eyes brimming with tears as he remembered his nightmare.  
  
Harry looked at him sympathetically from his bed. "Did you have that dream again?"  
  
"He just dropped it. He dropped the pudding." Tears started to roll down Ron's cheeks. "It hadn't even been cut into yet! WAHHHH!"  
  
"Ron, it's been three years, let it go!"  
  
"How could Dobby do that? All tat cream and sugared violets wasted! It's not fair! Wahhhh!!"  
  
Harry looked uncomfortable as his best fried sobbed over a fallen pudding.  
  
"Um, do you want a tissue?"  
  
"You just don't get it! You don't understand pudding like I do!" Ron got up and stormed down to the common room, followed be Harry. No one else was there this late a night except for Katie Bell, who was snoring in one of the armchairs by the fire.  
  
"Ron, I think you need some serious help. The pudding incident was three years ago! Get over it!"  
  
"You the one that needs help Harry, think of the pudding! It's didn't ask to be dropped…" Ron trailed off as his tears threatened to surge up again.  
  
"That's it," Harry shook his head, "I'm bringing you to see a shrink tomorrow."  
  
* * *  
  
They were in downtown London and Harry was dragging Ron into the lobby of a high rise.  
  
"We need to go to the 6th floor to see your shrink."  
  
"I'm not crazy!"  
  
"Suuuuuurrrreeee you aren't pudding boy. Come into the elevator."  
  
Ron opened his mouth in awe as the elevator began to move upward.  
  
"How... how does it do that?"  
  
"Wires and pulleys and… such."  
  
"Amazing! I wish we had one of these in the burrow!" He began to examine the walls, experimenting with the buttons. When they reached their floor (which took some time considering Ron had pressed every button on the panel) Harry had to force Ron out of the elevator, which was quite hard as he was trying to climb onto the elevator roof at the moment.  
  
Harry looked around the office curiously for a few moments before a women secretary came up to him. She was not even five feet tall, and her hair accounted for most of her height. It stood on its end and vaguely reminded Harry of a "Bride of Frankenstein" video he'd seen.  
  
"I assume he's the patient." She said in a nasal voice motioning to Ron, who was still examining the elevator door muttering "amazing".  
  
Harry nodded and he and Ron followed her down the hallway.  
  
"Wait in here Mr. Weasley. Dr. Fraud will be with you shortly."  
  
Ron steeped inside the office and only had to wait a minutes before a woman in a smart business suit walked in and sat behind the desk.  
  
"Halloo. I am Doctor Sonya Fraud. Vat seems to be zee problem?" She asked in a mishmash of bad accents.  
  
Ron explained the recurring nightmare, insisting he was not crazy. After 10 minutes of his ranting the doctor interrupted him.  
  
"You me 'e just dropped it?! A vull pudding? 'Ow could 'e!"  
  
Ron nodded, "I know! It's just not fair!"  
  
"Such a vaste…"  
  
"…Never even got eaten…"  
  
"…Not vair at all…"  
  
"…I tear up just thinking about it!"  
  
"No von 'as ever understood me like you Ron"  
  
They hesitated only a moment before Ron jumped over the desk and they began tearing eachother's clothes off like rabbits that had just gotten out of jail…  
  
* * *  
  
Meanwhile in the lobby:  
  
Harry scratched his head. "I wonder what's taking Ron so long. I'll go check."  
  
He opened the door only to find Ron and the shrink lying on the desk, both in varying degrees of nudity. His jaw fell open in shock.  
  
Ron just looked annoyed. "Bugger off, can't you see we're busy?"  
  
Harry nodded quickly and closed the door, only to find…  
  
"Hermione! What are you doing in the lobby?"  
  
"I came to see Ron, is he okay?"  
  
Harry snorted a laugh. "I'd say, he's in that office getting it on with Dr. Fraud."  
  
Hermione's eyes filled with tears. "What? Nooo!!"  
She ran back to the elevator.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"I'm going to cry in the gas station bathroom across the street!" she sobbed.  
  
"While your there, can you pick up a quart of motor oil for the Angelina?" He shouted as the elevator door closed.  
  
"Women." Harry shook his head. "I'll never understand them."  
  
* * *  
  
(A/N: All done! You should all join METMA; it's a very worthy cause! If you won't do it for me, do it for the pudding, it never asked to be dropped! So e-mail METMA Mandy at Leven5@aol.com  



End file.
